FOOTLAUNCH

CHANGE OF VENUE -next club meeting Oct 13th at The Pheasant, Welland.

Where there will be a first-aid lecture by Tom Llewellyn and his able assistant from Cheltenham Hospital, so come along and get some advice from the experts.

North Wales club trip 22, 23, 24 OCTOBER 2004.

Base: BETWS Y COED
Sites for every direction:
NW-N-NE Foel Lus 1000 feet coastal site, views of the Isle of Man, road to the top, with the possibility of incredible ridge cross country across the NW flank of Snowdonia to the Lyn peninsular.
East: Back side of the rhinogs- wild unexplored country
West- Barmouth
South West- The Great Orme- coastal site
South- That little friendly site we flew ten years ago or more

More of a family friendly club trip - Bring your household!
Meeting place to be arranged.

Nick knows a good B&B with pool -

http://www.bedandbreakfast-directory.co.uk/uploads/estate/hotels/hotels693.htm

 
Quotes from the 
Fringe
 
The dodo died. Then Dodi died, Di died and Dando died...  Dido 
must
Be sh*tting herself.
 
 
My parents are from Glasgow which means they're incredibly hard, 
but
I was never smacked as a child ... well maybe one or two 
grams to get me to sleep at night.
 
 
Is it fair to say that there'd be less litter in 
Britain if blind
people were given pointed 
sticks?
 
 
A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the 
other day. She
said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I 
said, "All right, but we're not going to get much 
done."
 
 
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party 
dressed as a
goat.
 
 
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I 
can't help
thinking he would have been better off with more 
oxygen.
 
 
You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend 
tells you,
Because eventually you get 
tested. She'll go: "What's my favourite 
flower?"
And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn't listening ... 
Self-raising?"
 
 
The world is a dangerous place; only yesterday I went 
into Boots and
punched someone in the face.
 
 
Cats have nine lives. Which makes them 
ideal for experimentation.
 
 
I saw that show, 50 Things To 
Do Before You Die. I would have thought
The obvious one was "Shout For Help".
 
 
I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take 
the
Girl out of Cork ...
 
 
Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire 
station. Went 
along.
Turned out it was a bloody 
hoax.
 
 
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody 
can be both a
winner and a loser at the same 
time.
 
 
The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than 
the right to
arm bears.
 
 
My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that 
we spent most
of our family holidays in Customs. 

 
 
Sleeping with prostitutes is like making your cat dance 
with you on
Its hind legs. You know it's wrong, but you try to convince yourself 
that they're enjoying it as well.
 
 
A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd 
like a job please".
The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, 
why don't you go join the circus?"  

The dog replies: "What would the circus want with a 
plumber".
 
 
Hey - you want to feel really handsome?  Go 
shopping at Asda.
 
 
I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really 
loud "I've
Already got 
one!"
 
 
It's easy to distract fat people, in fact it's a piece 
of cake.
 
 
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go 
through a
tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop 
of
fire. They're trained for that.
 
 
I was walking the streets of 
Glasgow the other week and I saw 
this
sign:
"This 
door is alarmed."  I said to myself: "How do you think I 
feel?"
 
 
 
 
 
Children
 
For those with no children - this is totally 
hysterical!
For those who already have children past this age – this 
is hilarious.
 
For those who have children at this age - this is not 
funny.
 
For those who have children nearing this age - this is a 
warning.
 
For those who have not yet had children - this is a 
form of birth control.
 
The following came from an anonymous Mother: 
"Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no 
kidding):
 
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 3 
bedroom house about 4 inches deep.
 
2. If you spray hair spray on a nylon duster and then 
run over it with roller skates/blades, they can 
ignite.
 
3. A 3 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults, in a crowded 
restaurant.
 
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor 
is not strong enough 
to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a 
Superman cape. It is 
strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread 
paint on all four walls 
of a large room.
 
5. You should not throw balls up when the ceiling fan is 
on, using the ceiling fan 
as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before 
you get a hit. A ceiling
fan can then hit a ball a long 
way.
 
6. The glass in windows (even double-glazing) doesn't 
stop a ball hit by a ceiling fan.
 
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh 
oh," it's already too late.
 
8. Brake fluid mixed with bleach makes smoke, and lots 
of it.
 
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint even 
though a 36-year old man says they can only do it on the 
telly.
 
10. Certain bits of Lego will pass through the digestive 
tract of a 4-year old.
 
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the 
same sentence.
 
12. Super glue is 
forever.
 
13. No matter how much jelly you put in a swimming pool 
you still can't walk on water.
 
14. Pool filters do not like 
jelly.
 
15. VCR's do not eject toasted sandwiches even though TV 
commercials show they do.
 
16. Black plastic sacks do not make good 
parachutes.
 
17. Marbles in petrol tanks make lots of noise when 
driving and are very expensive to remove.
 
18. You probably do not want to know what that smell 
really is.
 
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. 
Plastic toys do not like ovens.
 
20. The average response time for the fire brigade is 
about 10 minutes.
 
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make 
earthworms dizzy.
 
22. It will, however, make cats 
dizzy.
 
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when 
dizzy.
 
24. The mind of a 6-year old is a wonderful and amazing 
thing.
 
25. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the bleach 
and brake fluid.
 
 
Gender
 
Freezer bags -Male, because they hold everything in but 
you can see right through them. 
 
Photocopier - Female, because once turned off, it takes 
a while to warm up. It's an effective reproductive device if the 

right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc, if the wrong 
buttons are pushed. 
 
Tyre - Male, because it goes bald and often it's over inflated. 

 
Hot Air Balloon - Male, because to get it to go anywhere 
you have to light a fire under its arse and, of course, 

there's the hot air part. 
 
Sponges - Female, because they're soft and squeezable 
and retain water. 
 
Web page - Female, because they're always getting hit 
on. 
 
London Underground - Male, because it uses the same old lines 
to pick up people. 
 
Hourglass - Female, because over time, the weight shifts 
to the bottom. 
 
Hammer - Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the 
last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. 

 
Computer - Female, because although it’s difficult to 
understand, it has a good memory, and crashes are 
inevitable. 
Once it’s been switched off it can be awkward to turn on 
again. When it does get switched on, it takes ages to warm up, 

and can have difficulty accepting a Floppy. 

 
Remote control - Female... Ha! You thought it'd be male. 
But consider it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, 

and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, 
he keeps trying...
 

Go4it 2004

Bryan Hindle 77.8 70.7 62.9  43.2 15.1 14.1 11.9 9.1  8.3        7.0 320.1km

Ian Smallwood 43.1 26.9 24.3 20.4 17.8 16.2 148.7km

Nigel Dewdney 55 18.5 12 9.2 6.8 5.4 106.9km

Tim Crow 31.0 25.2 22.3 78.5km

Dave J-H 47.2 23.2 70.4km

Chris Smith 33.9 7.3 6.2 47.4km

Frank Trunks 35.7 35.7km

Graham Shand 26.0 6.2 32.2km

Carolyn Dewdney 9 9.0km

Brian Pilchar 7.0 7.0km

Rules

1.    UK flights only.
2.    No infringement of airspace.
3.    Must have Pilot rating or be under instruction from one on the day.
4.    Flights between 01/12/03 to 30/11/04.
5.    Co-ordinates for T/O and landing required plus distance from point to point in Kms as a

check. Flights will be scored to nearest 100m.
6.    Defined flights (BHPA rules) Coordinates for turn points in addition. Double distance
       awarded provided 60% of flight outside ridge lift.
7.    Stone's throw award for smallest flight submitted (or known about) provided
       distance 5km or greater (previously 3 miles).

8. The best newcomer to XC flying (as voted by the committee) will win a voucher worth

£120 for Airways Ltd.

9. The top pilot for the year will be known by the moniker “Skygod” for the next year – so remember, that’s Monica Skygod for the next year.

ADVERTS:

Harley Sirocco (medium) 75-95kg. Very good condition, little used. ACPUL 12A rated. £150

At that price ideal for winter flying or for ground handling practice. 01452 500806

Garmin Geko 201 GPS – ideal for flying. Small, lightweight and waterproof. Brand new boxed. Unwanted gift. Offers?

Alan 01452 504000

airtopia

UK IMPORTER FOR UP PARAGLIDERS

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Find us at Button Mill, Lower Mills, Bridgend, Stonehouse, Glos.

For map and directions look at WWW.AIRTOPIA.COM

Second hand canopies

All canopies are serviced prior to sale, lines and sail and stitching are all checked. Prices reflect the age of design and the amount of life we believe is left in the wing. .

Edel Atlas small fab condition 65-80kg £395:00

Edel Live small As new! 70-95kg £1,200:00

UP Vision classic M good starter wing 90-105kg £495.00

Ozone Vibe l Ex Demo, as new 100-115kg £1,200.00

Trekking Sunbeam very clean 95-110kg £675.00

Sky Fides L plenty of life left 95-110kg £450.00

Gradient Bliss L fab and low airtime 95-120kg £1,200:00

Nova XRay M very clean and low airtime 90-110 £750:00

Nova Xact M very, very low airtime 90-110kg £850:00

Gradient Golden L ex demo, as new 95-115kg £1,200:00

Gin Bolero+ L ex demo, as new 80-105kg £1,200:00

Call Robin tel 01453 827202

Mobile 07973 844449

www.airtopia.com robin@airtopia.com